I complain about every little thing in life.  I don't know where I get it from, I guess I've always been a baby.  But here I go...

There are so many things that I want to do before I leave Tigard but there isn't enough time and it frustrates me so much.  Not just dumb IB classes but sports and clubs!  It frustrates me how average I am and how I've quit so many things that there is nothing really special about me anymore.  I realized a few days ago that I've done a sport every single season (except the first last year) and I will probably attempt to do that next year.  I don't even know why, I'm terrible at everything I do!  I can't swim and I'm a terrible runner.  I just need to fill up my life with SOMETHING I guess...  A few weeks ago I thought of asking my parents for a gym membership since they are always encouraging me to go swimming/running/working out in general.. but i realized i don't need it because i'm always busy with some sport that i'm bad at

Sometimes I forget I'm only 15... and I'll be 15 for a good four more months.  I've always thought that turning 16 will bring more freedom, a car and maybe my parents will finally trust me more! Well... I don't see that happening anytime soon.  I think when I'm 24 my mother will still ask me what I plan on eating for lunch, my dad will probably send me a new refill of pepper spray every few weeks too, just in case.  This bothers me because I always compare myself to people around me.  I always ask why everyone else deserves so much more than I do and this is terrible because sometimes I think of material things as well.  It really does run through my head "why does she get to spend 1232123812321 dollars on those shoes?  I study more than her!  I work out more!" but most of the time it just frustrates me that some people that don't deserve the trust of their parents at all are free to do whatever they want. You'd think that this is good because my parents just care more about me but their "caring" limits what I can do so much.  I'm not allowed to volunteer unless it is justified with leadership or some other club because "i have too much on my plate" or "why help other people? you can help at home!"

I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers/spend the night at people's houses until I turned 13... that was only 2 years ago.  But I've always been allowed to ride public transportation by myself... at any hour anywhere.... I really don't understand how a 1 hour bus/max ride to lloyd center to meet with my mom is safer than sleeping over at a friend's house.. but whatever.  If mom/dad say it, it must be right. 

There are so many things that my parents went through that I will never have to and I am grateful for that.  At the same time I wish I could go through these things so I could at least understand where they are coming from.  I guess I wish they could've gone through high school (and probably college) like I will/am because then they'd understand where I'm coming from and maybe they'd realize that I'm not the slacker they think I am.  And maybe that I'm not such a bad kid.

It really bothers me when people over do things that are meant to be simple and I can't stand this weather.  I just want the sun and summer back now now now.  That would make life so much easier.

my back has been hurting and sleeping on it makes it better but I havent been getting much sleep.  I really want my english essay back and I just want to keep my A's.

Why can't we have all of us think about it?  Why do I  have to be the only one thinking? That's so depressing!  I'm not the only one talking Tracie Tran is just underestimating the group.  -rereads everything outloud- I'm listening to yadira talk about sb i'm not doing anything. hahahahaha no one is going to know what sb is.  if i had to disappaer?  well i'd like that during swimming practice.. i don't reallly have much to say about the topic, never really tought about it.  Yadira Trujillo, I wish she would disappear.  I'm kidding.  This is my house, fine be that way.  See look if you write only what i'm saying its creepy.  We should make our own.  Hey do you ever like to do those myspace surveys with other people?  Hey man its not my fault Yadira won't shut up.  You need Tate?  Why?  Yadira, you need to include Yadira's last comment "I need Tate to cover my mouth"  not house.  not tate my tate.  She said TAPE not TATE.  as long as that's documented as yadira trujillo.  kljalfkjdsklfdklsfadjfa; Thats not what we just said. What?  Im stuck now, I'm not going to tell you.  Yadira wants to shop liftBut then there would b a bra floating around.  IN victoria secrets, just a bra. I'm not going to share my thoughs at the moment, my thoughts are not something that everyone in the entire world can read.  but i dont like edward cullen.  he's not real.  i wanna marry bruce springsteen, but then he would be kidnapped and i like him and that wouldn't be good. thats why he keeps making music i like, because he likes me. no  most of the comments are yadira yadira yadira hahahahhah what if i don't talk at all?  then you don't have anything to write.

 

Love,

Katherine WeigalkjADSFKLJ<----Katie

   

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